Everything changes but you...

Confusion is the name of the game. Thoughts swirling around my head make no sense at all these days. I don't seem to able to come to the simplest of decisions or conclusions about anything.

I probably won't post here until I've sorted my head out. I'm OK, really I am, but I don't understand enough about how I'm feeling to be able to put it into words.

I'll be back when I start making sense....and for those of you that know me well, you'll understand just how long that might take...

Tish and piffle

You didn't really think I'd get it did you? After all the negative thoughts and self deprecation?

Well, I didn't get the job.

I was 'appointable' though - which is nice. Nice to know that I was good, but not quite good enough. Always a good ego-boost that one eh?

Anyway - can't stop to chat...I am working virtually full time this week, due to it being half term, and Michael being off on holiday (he's back at work after his op, but he has taken this week off in lieu of the week he didn't have as holiday at Easter).

Weight loss is now at approximately 2 and a half stones, just for the record. And I can now actually remove my wedding and engagement rings - for the first time in about 5 years. Nice to know that I won't be needing them to be cut off when my finger turns blue after all.

I haven't, by the way. Removed them, that is. I just can.

Here we go...

Tomorrow is D-Day.

Tomorrow is the day which has the potential to change my future. Or not... as the case may be.

Tomorrow is the day of my interview. At 9.10am I wish be ushered away to complete 20 minutes worth of tasks and preparation. At approximately 9.30 I shall be led to seal my fate in front of a panel of 3. 3 whats I'm not quite sure...

And as the interviewees are now down to just 3...I will know my destiny before the end of my working day tomorrow (3pm).

To say I am nervous doesn't quite cut it...to be honest I'm absolutely crapping myself. Sorry for the vulgarity. I wanted to be more graphic, but restrained myself. I think it would be easier if I was sure whether I actually want the job or not. The job is 37 hours a week, when I currently work 26 (well, nearer 30 normally). It is, however, double the money I am earning now. And I know I could do it - and without being too immodest, I could do it bloody well too.

I just don't know if I want to.

I'll let you know what happens, but if I don't get it, (not because I was shit, but because someone else was better), then I may well be just as happy as if I do get it.

Que sera sera (thanks Doris)

Blimey

I've been neglecting you again, my dear blogger friends. I hadn't even realised I had some followers! Thank you!

Not much to report, only that things are manic as per usual. I'm getting used to manic, to be honest. I'm learning to function with manic as the default setting. Good job really.

I have an interview on 18th May for the job I applied for at work - if I were to get it, it would be something of a coup...but I suppose if I'm honest I am probably the least favoured of the 4 candidates up for the position. Still, I am proud to have even been shortlisted. Good times.

Michael had his op, at very short notice, on 6th April (with his birthday on the 7th, he had a lovely birthday pressie!).

My head is still very miuch mixed up about things, and as a result I have lost approximately 2 stones in weight. I did need to lose it, I know, but not in such a dramatic way, and over such a short space of time (about 6 weeks).

I still have more to lose, but I promise I will lose the next few pounds properly!

Can't stop now, as I have other things to do (YES - even at this time of night!).

Thanks to those who've been thinking of me, and if you haven't, then why haven't you?

Clarification

A really quick update on last night's post.

I have some issues to sort, but on the whole they're positive issues. Some more positive than others. Only I can sort it out in my head, and I'm not sure how long that will take.

For the positive comments I've had, thank you. And there's one person out there reading this that knows exactly what I'm talking about and referring to, and to that person, thank you too. I know you're there for me and one way or another you will help me get through these 'difficult' times.

What can I say...

Well, here I am...one month later. Bad Blogger. Again.

So much is happening in my life at the moment that it's kind of difficult to put most of it into words. Some of it isn't my stuff to tell, but I will give you an idea.

Firstly, I am about to apply for a job. I don't really hold out much hope of getting it...but I've nothing to lose, and everything to gain so I'm going to go for it. It's within the Council where I already work, but it would be full time (which carries its own magnificent set of complications), but double the part-time salary I'm on at the moment. You have to be in it to win it so they say ...so wish me luck!

Secondly, Michael has to have an operation. It's not a terribly serious one - one of the most commonly performed operations in the country apparently. But for anybody who knows Michael, he doesn't 'do' sick. He gets restless at the weekends if we don't have things planned for him to do. He likes being busy. It's better for us all when he's busy, I assure you. So how he's going to cope when he has to take 6 weeks off work, I don't know.

And not just 6 weeks off work...but 6 weeks off band too! Beloved band. How will he cope without band? Tune in later to find out! In truth, I have no idea. But we don't yet have a date for his operation anyway, so it's difficult to predict how he will cope, without actually knowing what he's going to miss out on. If it's a contest, then heaven help us.

That's another thing - Newstead Brass came second at the Regional Brass Band championships in Bedworth a couple of weekends ago. This means that they have qualified again to go and play at the National Finals at the Royal Albert Hall in London (17th October). That in turn, means money money money...and lots of decisions to be made on whether we all go, or just Michael...but I daresay funds (or lack thereof) will probably dictate the outcome.

I have been audited at work (a very stressful experience) but all was good in the end. Before I started work last year, an audit was carried out, and our department was deemed to be 'unsatisfactory'. So, the lucky, lucky people that we are, got to have a 'follow up' audit a year later. That was earlier this month. It was supposed to be conducted over two days, but we were (I was) so good that she completed it in just one day! Yey for me! All the changes to procedures and systems I have put in place over the last year have paid off! The auditor even admitted that one particular system which she had huge reservations about, works extremely well and efficiently! Ha! One in the eye for her! LOL!

I do have other issues going on at the moment too, none of which are available for public consumption, but they're occupying my mind somewhat, and making it difficult to sort out my head. I know I've been neglecting things - friends and forums especially, and that makes me sad. I will, once my head is in a better place, endeavour to return to my favourite places.

If you can still be bothered to read my blog, thank you. And if you've given up on me, ... well, you won't be reading this, will you.

Thank you, and good night.

Oh, and I made pancakes!

Erm, and there were pancakes too:


YUM!!!!!

Twittertastic baby!

Well then, now I'm getting over my intitial trepidation on Twitter, I'm finally getting the hang of it. After having joined in with a random tweet 'thing' from an Eddie Izzard namesake (heaven forbid I should suggest it isn't the real deal!) I've started randomly following people who amused me (and in many cases, they're only gone and started following me back!). It's making Twitter a more interesting place altogether. All: "It's making Twitter a more interesting place".

I do still follow the Frymeister, Schofe and others...but it kind of makes you realise that whilst these so-called celebs are interesting, there are loads of others out there with equally interesting things to say.

Come on over and join me... https://twitter.com/ (I know, my user name isn't especially imaginative, but hey, any port in a storm!)